I Miss The Days Of My Childhood, When Pain Meant A Broken Toy | Actually
As long as I can remember, drawing and painting as a child was the most honest feeling I ever had. It was freedom where I find excitement in creating a fantasy world of my own.
Retaining the limitless creativity, dreaming of the impossible and seeing the world that grown-ups are oblivious to.
“I miss the days of my childhood, when pain meant a broken toy” depicts my unspoken words. Facing with a discourse where life choices must be made and expectations triumphs “unrealistic” dreams we build.
Launch of EVERYDAY collection | Actually
"I miss the days of my childhood, when pain meant a broken toy"
Fabric Paint on T-Shirt
Coffee Powder Series
Coffee powder is my everyday interaction from perking up my mornings to making a cup for a coffee lover. From the extraction of expresso to the exploration of latte art.
Thrown away coffee powder - the everyday disposal from the calibration of the coffee grinder - became my way of creating a latte art.
In every-art making process, its complexity in finishing is restricted by my expectation in creating a perfect artwork.
By deconstructing the recipe from a perfect cup, the primary material of coffee powder became my medium of art making. In reconstructing the process of coffee making, I can still create my cup of coffee without throwing any coffee powder away.
Having a strong attachment to my paintings and drawings, I struggled to salvage and keep their existence. In choosing coffee powder to create and to erase, I leave a temporary existence of myself that is only keepsake in photograph.
"I shower myself in caffeine and devour coffee powder and beans"
"I want to see the world through a camera lens"
"My eyes reflect nothing but little fantasies of mine"
"Underneath this fragile frame. Lives a battle between pride and shame"
"Forgive me today, Father. For i am breaking tomorrow promises"
"You set me free. Three nails and You rescued me"
"We think too much and feel too little"
Absence Of Presence
Purity is the freedom of contamination of the external world of influences, children are utmost pure as their thinking is based on a kind of simplicity way of living, with no expectations and ego. Growing up and the exposure of surroundings have exploited the purity in children and that adults have lost that sense of pureness.
My process works that targets on the absence of purity, it is a reflection of children to evoke the lost sense of pureness that is still present in ourselves. Pureness is lost in the transition of growing up and children reminds the adults of what is pure back then. My missionary trip to Batam have greatly inspired me, it was an eye opener for me, as little have i understood the power of innocence in children. With so much poverty surrounding the suburbs of Batam, yet the children there embraced life with so much joy and it struck me with this sense of how children actually remind me of a kind of purity that i have lost in my process of growing up.
Using children as a metaphor to represent that presence of purity. Children are paradoxes of parenthood, childhood and memories. In many ways, a child have the ability to move the hearts of people with their innocence. They reminds adults of what was like being a child, almost like a lost transition in time, people grow up too fast and matching their capabilities to the expectations of society that the childhood of their time have become vague.
Children is a form of universal language in portraiture, regardless of what the background, nationality, classes the child comes from, they always have the ability to empower purity to people. I will address my concerns through painting, painting best express the distortion of reality and to evoke memories within my viewers to subtly remind them to trace back their vague memories of being child. I want to create a sense of nostalgia of children portraits to whisper subtly in my paintings to remind people of innocence and in turn teaching them the ways of a child's simplicity.